


fragments of light

by ewagan



Series: SASO 2017 Fills [9]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Letters, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Orange AU, Timey-Wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 19:03:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11168142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/pseuds/ewagan
Summary: Akashi Seijuurou is not what Kuroko expects. He is calm and confident, with a ready smile and an outstretched hand, ready to help others at the slightest indication. He does not appear to be someone in need of help, despite what the letter that’s sitting in Kuroko’s bag says.Or, the Orange AU one person asked for.





	fragments of light

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from Orange's OP of the same name.
> 
>  
> 
> [prompt here](https://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/21931.html?thread=10950571#cmt10950571)

Akashi Seijuurou is not what Kuroko expects. He is calm and confident, with a ready smile and an outstretched hand, ready to help others at the slightest indication. He does not appear to be someone in need of help, despite what the letter that’s sitting in Kuroko’s bag says. He’s not sure what it means, but he’s almost certain that this Akashi does not need any help.

_Please save Akashi-kun. Don’t make the mistakes I made._

Kuroko does what he does best. He watches, he listens. He watches as Akashi befriends Murasakibara, plays shogi with Midorima, become the president of the student council. He is friendly with Momoi, and he gets along with Aomine and Kise despite their boisterous natures, a sharp contrast to Akashi’s unwavering composure. Kuroko wonders how is he supposed to save Akashi, and whom is he supposed to save Akashi from.

_Akashi-kun is very private, and he is also very good at pretending everything’s fine. Please take care of him. Be patient with him, give him time._

They’re an odd group, the seven of them. Momoi and Aomine are childhood friends, but he and Kise make an extremely rowdy pair. Kuroko can watch them almost all day, sitting with Momoi while she chatters about classes and shakes her head at Aomine’s antics. Murasakibara’s more interested in food than people, though he pays attention when Akashi speaks to him. Midorima sits apart as well, and while Kuroko might not like him very much, he certainly can respect Midorima for his intelligence and his dedication to hard work. It is Midorima that Akashi is closest to, whom he spends the most time with.

Sometimes, he wonders if Midorima has a letter like his, asking him to save Akashi. If Midorima too, is trying.

 

* * *

 

_To my fifteen year old self, I don’t want you to have all the regrets I do. When I turned twenty-five, I realized I had a lot of regrets._

When he graduates middle school, Kuroko wonders if his future self had felt this disappointment and weariness, the way it has settled into his bones like it would never leave. He also wonders if it wasn’t Aomine he was supposed to save, and not Akashi.

(But perhaps, Akashi needed saving too, from the way he had changed. Only he and Midorima had noticed, at first. But Midorima had been helpless to change it, and Kuroko didn’t know how to reach out to Akashi anymore.)

Instead, he throws himself into Seirin and their basketball team, lets their cheer and determination fill up the hole that Teiko had left behind. He finds a new fire for basketball, lets himself learn to love it again. Rakuzan is too far for him to do anything, and he doesn’t know what to say to Akashi now. They will see each other again, he’s sure. As long as he keeps playing basketball.

 _This is one regret I don’t want you to have_.

Kuroko thinks he has too many regrets already, even as he reads and rereads the letter from his future self. He wonders if anything he’s done already has changed the future, and if the future him is happy. He wonders if Midorima has regrets too, if they are even more than his.

Midorima had been Akashi’s closest friend, after all.

 

* * *

 

_Hey, do you think you could change this future? Because in this future, not all of us are here._

Some things have to have changed already, because Kuroko has persisted. He kept playing basketball, despite the disappointment that threatened to overwhelm him. They don’t make it to the Interhigh finals, and Kuroko wonders if this is enough to change their future. Seeing Aomine again brings to the forefront the ways he had failed in middle school, but he thinks that just maybe, Aomine would have managed anyways. After all, there was still Kise, and now there was Kagami.

Even though Akashi is no longer a big part of his life, Kuroko wonders about him every now and then, if there was something he could have done in middle school.

Training camp comes with summer and Midorima, a long walk along the beach while Kuroko tells him about the letters. Despite Midorima’s steadfast practicality and adherence to logic, Kuroko thinks Midorima is most likely to believe him. Midorima regards the well thumbed letters with silence, and to Kuroko’s surprise, produces an envelope. It’s addressed to Midorima, in the neat script that Kuroko has seen before.

“I got one too. During Teiko.” His words are abrupt, in the way Kuroko knows means that he’s trying to find the right words. He is looking at the pages in his hands. “I didn’t know what to do.” he confesses. “I still don’t.”

Regrets, Kuroko thinks, are heavy things to carry.

 

* * *

 

_I’m sorry if it’s asking too much of you, but keep trying. Don’t give up on Akashi-kun._

Winter Cup is an uphill battle. Each match is harder than the one before, but they persevere and they win. He watches Midorima try and fail, watches as Akashi walks away. He wonders how Midorima bears it, rejection after rejection. He has to admire the resilience it takes to keep standing, shoulders squared and chin up, to take it in stride and accept the loss. Unyielding tenacity indeed.

When it is his turn, he looks Akashi in the eye and hopes that this will be enough, that he has changed enough of this life that they still have Akashi ten years from now, that one day they will play basketball together again. That one day, they can smile and laugh together, old friends and new.

“Have you found your answer?” Akashi asks.

“Yes.”

 

* * *

 

“Do you think we can change the past?” Kuroko asks. Midorima has already lit incense. Kuroko arranges the chrysanthemums he brought with him, along with the peonies that Momoi had left before she had to rush away for an appointment.

“We can only hope.” Midorima says. He bows his head, and Kuroko does as well.

He has a letter in his hands, and a prayer. They couldn’t save this Akashi, who had collapsed under the weight of too many expectations, but maybe they can save him in another.

 

* * *

 

_Dear me in the future,_

_Are we all still friends? Do we still play basketball together? Does Midorima still carry his lucky item everywhere with him? Do Aomine and Kise still bicker about everything? Are we all living our lives with no regrets?_

_I hope that we are all happy, that we are all still friends. I hope we are living our lives to the fullest, and we are happy with the choices we made._

_Kuroko Tetsuya_

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated!
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ewagan)!


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